Personal Experiment: Sexual Abstinence For How Long?

Let’s Talk About Sexual Abstinence, Shall We?

 

Sexual abstinence isn’t a popular subject. Especially since the world revolves so much around sex nowadays. It certainly isn’t an easy thing to admit you’re committing to either, as going without sex today could actually be met with more question than respect. With apps out like Tinder and POF (these are old, I know!), it’s so easy to get sex that there are almost zero excuses for someone who’s still seeking it to be a virgin.

But the key phrase here is “seeking it.” Why is it that so much of what we consider a “good night” involves hooking up with someone? Sure, I get the thrill of getting hit on by a 9/10, then going so far as to get the number, but after you get lucky, what next? For some, this is the life. I sort of answered the question myself; it’s the thrill of sex (and for men, the chase) that keeps us hooked. From the ages of about 20-23, I was all about my numbers. Especially after I turned 22 after a messy little break-up. Once I caught on to the rhythm of the dating game and the numbers were coming in, I was hooked.

Sexual Abstinence Can Be Liberating. . . Say Whaaat?

So I totally get the thrill of sex; chasing it, the act itself, all that good stuff. But what if you hit a snag in your game and now you have to go without sex for an extended period of time? Maybe you had some kind of surgery that requires bed rest and sexual abstinence for a few months. Or maybe you moved to a new town and the crowd just isn’t worked the same way as the crowd from the other place (happens all the time for us military folk). Whatever the reason, you’re now in a dry spell. But is it the end of the world?

For about 7 months now I’ve been doing a personal growth experiment as part of my journey as a Holistic Health Coach. The last time I had sex was in February of this year (2017). The reason for it is a little of everything; healing from a failed long-term relationship, finances, and focus. And what I mean by focus is that during this 7-month stretch, my priorities shifted, and I had to change focus. I went from focusing on a toxic 3-year relationship with amazing sex regularly to focusing on re-discovering who I am again. This meant separating myself from the idea that I need sex to define my masculinity and who I am as an individual. As cliche as this may sound, this shift in focus has had profound positive effects in my life. Allow me to explain.

You’ll Find A Form Of Freedom

Believe me when I say that I used to laugh at the idea of sexual abstinence. But in life, you’ll see that personal growth can happen at any stage. Right now I’m trying out an idea for my Holistic Health Coaching services that includes local cheap traveling, touring, and exploring. Basically, on my spare time, I grab my travel backpack (my buddies in the Air Force referred to it as my “Life Bag”), start walking, maybe take a bus, maybe take a bike, but I just go. I go to cafe’s, restaurants, bars, sometimes clubs, parks, lakes. You name it, I’m there.

What if I told you more self-growth can come from sexual abstinence?
What if I told you more self-growth can come from booty abstinence?

When about 10pm hits and the nightlife in Tacoma starts buzzing, I hit the bars. But here’s the kicker: I go by myself, with my nerdy purple backpack (just got a new blue one though!), my hair grown out in what can best be described as fro-twists, and my beard shaggy. Sometimes I go home, brush the teeth and wash up the vitals, and go straight out in my work clothes. Impressing nobody.

Although my appearance and gear don’t scream, “take me now,” women still approach me and chat. However, most of the time, I’m just enjoying my drink to myself, listening to the music, and enjoying being immersed in the social scene. My focus isn’t on getting laid, but rather discovering my true self in social scenes without the heavy burden of chasing sex.

So What Has Sexual Abstinence Given Me?

What have I learned from this 7-month experiment thus far? Well aside from bracing from the flack I’ll be getting from my friends, it’s a lot like trying a new diet for the first time: Initially, it’s a little rough, as the temptation doesn’t just go away just because you decided to try something different. But once you’re about a month into it, you feel liberated and see no reason to look back. I mean, why fix what isn’t broken right? I’m so focused on improving myself that I have no desire for sexual satisfaction at the moment.

The biggest blessing that’s come out of my sexual abstinence experiment is that I am literally me at all times. There’s no hidden desire to impress anybody. There’s no fear of saying the wrong thing and risk not getting laid that night. There’s no worrying about my breath (although I still always carry Orbit), my unpopped collar, or whether or not the drink I have in my hand is perceived as “manly enough” for the beautiful but drunken lady across the stool from me. Nope. None of that. It’s just me speaking the way I speak, looking the way I look and acting the way I act. I am literally free and doing me in every way, and there is ZERO pressure to impress and please nobody else but myself. Through 27 years of life, I’ve never felt this kind of freedom.

You’ll also see that you gain respect for yourself for not giving in to desires. It shows you have willpower, restraint, discipline, and focus. It’s a rewarding feeling when you discover such powerful traits completely on your own.

Battling The Urge Is Worth The Personal Reward

Sexual abstinence isn’t for everyone, and in no way was this article meant to judge singles who have sex regularly. As one who’s previously pursued and partook in that lifestyle for a couple of years, I can personally vouch for the thrill of it. It’s not just about the sex; it’s about the crazy night, the people, and the memories, ON TOP of the icing on the cake if one got lucky that night. So I completely get that world. In fact, talking about it still gets me excited. Honestly, I plan to keep this going for at least another year. I feel like there is so much more I can discover about myself without the distraction of chasing tail. For those looking to take that next step in self-growth and discovery, you may want to explore sexual abstinence. Man or woman, there’s no greater pleasure in the world than the pleasure being one 100% true and real to yourself. When you’re focused on that, the right people flock into your life. And who knows, when that starts happening, maybe your sex life will pick up again with the Right One?

As a Holistic Health Coach, my field of scope includes the relationships and making sure you’re getting what you need from them, including the relationship with yourself. For coaching services regarding relationship and self-discovery, please feel free to email me at anthonyjrichard17@gmail.com or ask any questions you may have in the comments!

I do not the featured image.

Copyright (c) 2017 Anthonyjrichard.com, All Rights Reserved

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Defining Physical Fitness: A Broader Explanation

So What Is Physical Fitness Exactly?

You can describe physical fitness in many ways. It doesn’t have to be intense, strenuous two-hour workouts, but the activity should raise your heart rate. Physical fitness is described as a state of overall healthy well-being, both physically and mentally. Although that’s the technical definition, it can be anything to each of us. We can make being physically fit unique to who we are and what we enjoy. For example, if you’ve never had the lungs to run but you enjoy a good lifting session, make that activity your physical activity of choice!

Physical Fitness That Fits Everything You

Many people get discouraged when working towards their exercise goals. One of the reasons for this is because they try a new workout that doesn’t fit their natural compatibility. For instance, your goal may be to lose 10 lbs in four weeks, so you look up popular and effective workout routines that will help you achieve this. As you delve more into the program, you realize that these workouts are brutal and relentless. On top of that, there are many workouts in the program you either are not good at or despise (like a lot of running). Now it’s gotten to a point where you dread those days in the gym, with these often being the days you skip.

This is why it’s so important to develop a physical fitness regimen that fits you to a tee! Like everything else in life, if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, you’re not going to have the will to continue to do it. What this translates to in the fitness world is find the workouts and activities you enjoy doing to increase your likelihood of following through with your goals.

Kinds Of Physical Fitness

Physical fitness includes such a broad variety of exercises and activities it’s really impossible to define what constitutes a bonafide physical activity. It can include any of the following types of activity:

  1. Light Physical Activity- This is where you’re doing enough to not be considered sedentary. Exercises often considered light physical fitness activity are brisk walking, yoga, and golf.
  2. Moderate Physical Activity- Exercises and activities considered moderate activities would ones that demand more oxygen through your blood as a result of an increase in either volume of work, intensity, or both. Think of jogging, jumping jacks, and bicycling as good examples of moderate physical activity.
  3. Heavy physical activity- Heavy activity involves an increase in work volume, intensity, and time spent on the activity. They’re normally considered strenuous workouts and are not advised if you’re either somewhat new to the active lifestyle or are re-acclimating yourself to it again. Workouts considered heavy physical activity include various forms of martial arts, physical sports like football, basketball, and wrestling, sprinting, and circuit training weight lifting.

Finding The Right Physical Fitness Routines For Y.O.U.

As stated in the beginning of the article, there really is no accurate way to pinpoint what constitutes as physical fitness. Think of it this way; if you’re not stationary and it gets your heart rate going quicker than in your sedentary state, you’re physically active. Sure, the pictures of summer bodies in blogs with their exact routine posted can be enticing, but if you’re not enjoying it, you’re not going to keep it up. I often liken it to the workforce; one of the primary reasons people quit good paying jobs is because they don’t enjoy it. When it’s all said and done, it’s really up to you how you define your own version of physical fitness. Just make sure it’s something you can see yourself doing regularly, like looking forward to doing. But most importantly, make sure it’s safe.

The photos used in this blog post do not belong to me.

Copyright (c) 2017 Anthonyjrichard.com, All Rights Reserved

 

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Anthony J. Richard: A Little Bit About Myself

Hello and thank you for checking out my Lifestyle, Recreation, and Product blog site!

I really appreciate the time you’ve taken to check out what I have to share, so let me introduce a little bit about myself and my background.

Live. Love. Laugh. Learn. Leisure. That’s the motto I live by.

I was born in Del Rio, Texas, grew up as a military brat to an Army mother, and was mostly raised in the beautiful state of Arizona. I joined the military myself fresh out of high school at age 18, only choosing the Air Force over the Army. I served four years Active Duty and three years in the California National Guard. Once I got out of Active Duty in 2012, I went to school for Nutrition at Pasadena City College. I continued my pursuit of a degree in Nutrition at Arizona State University until a previous co-worker from the Air Force introduced me to a holistic health program called the Institute For Integrative Nutrition.

While taking this course, I rediscovered my passion for writing and expressing myself. Though the IIN program makes me a Certified Health Coach (woohoo!!), my heart lies in writing and blogging about everything related to Holistic Health, Fitness, Traveling, and Writing. My passion for travel was also rediscovered through this amazing program. With the health and business knowledge attained from IIN combined with my previous knowledge from my courses at PCC and ASU, I plan to share my knowledge and experiences as well as meet new people and potential business partners and clients. I also enjoy expanding my knowledge in the SEO Web Content Writing field, having successfully published over 50 articles, 15 of them for paying clients (exciting stuff!).

Through my life experiences, I’ve been blessed to experience and try out many products, tools, and tips to help me get the absolute best out of living. I’ve combined the appreciation of these things along with my passion for writing to share some of them. As an Amazon Associate, I also write articles specifically geared to the attention of these items, sharing pros, cons, and how they’ve helped me throughout my travel, fitness, health, and overall lifeystle/recreational experience.

I would like to once again thank you for visiting my lifestyle blog site! If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at my email at anthonyjrichard17@gmail.com.

Welcome to the Anthonyjrichard Universe!

Anthony J. Richard

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